Are you just turning up or really showing up?

At the time of writing this I was just in a zoom meeting and I must admit, I had a few other things going on.  A quick email to send, a text message to respond to, something to check online.

I was half in and half out of the meeting, my focus was across 3-4 different things, did the other people in attendance know it?  I would be kidding myself if I thought they didn’t.  I was really just turning up.

So what is the difference between just turning up and actually showing up?  What does it look like when I show up? 

Showing up is more intentional.  I purposely remove distractions (hello mobile phone!) and focus on one thing during the allocated time.  I'm not trying to squeeze anything else in, I’m listening, curious, open to learning and sharing in equal measure.

Reflect on some of your meetings, especially the ones you attend routinely, such as daily or weekly.  What are the behaviours you are engaging in during this time?  Are you on your phone, checking email, writing your to do list in your diary, using the time to get other things done, or are you fully present? 

What behaviours are you modelling, and what message is this sending to those around you?

If you can identify multiple meetings you are just turning up to, my first question would be do you need to be there?

If the answer is yes, its time to make a conscious decision, when do you want to show up more?

How to show up for yourself:

Every time you are in a meeting you are representing yourself.  Its time to get clear on how you best want to do that.

Start by being honest with yourself and identify any behaviours that exist now that are preventing you from being in the moment, for example using your phone, or always rushing because you are late.

Then identify what are you going to replace this with?  For example you may want to commit to not looking at your phone in a certain meeting, and even keeping it off the table (out of sight, out of mind).

Then, hold yourself accountable to how you want to show up and share your intention with other people in the meeting.  Set the tone for how you want to show up.

How to show up as a team or group:

Set the intention and agree to ways of working at the start.

Ask every person that is in regular attendance to share their ideas of how they want to show up.  Include things like focus, listening, being curious, no personal agenda, no distractions, no hierarchy everyone is equal etc.  Record everyone’s input.

Use this at the start of every meeting as a reminder to everyone in the room “this is our agreed ways of showing up”. 

Allow everyone a moment to reflect on the shared ways of showing up, letting go of whatever is happening outside of the room and be present.

Hold each other accountable.  Once you create your guidelines commit as a group to upholding your shared values and give each other a nudge when you need it.

Tuning in to when you are turning up versus showing up and being in the moment allows you to get more value out of your time spent in meetings and model the behaviours that create a more respectful and effective way of working.