Ego in Leadership: is it a dirty word?

Ever caught yourself dismissing someone’s feedback or doubling down on a decision, even when you are not sure its the right one?

This is the subtle power of ego at play. Ego is part of human nature, and in leadership, it can either serve as a motivator or become a roadblock. The trick isn’t to eliminate ego (that’s impossible), it’s to recognise when and how it shows up and manage it intentionally. Left unchecked, ego can cloud judgment, damage relationships, and undermine your teams performance.

So, what is the role ego plays in leadership, its impact, and how can we develop self-awareness to keep it in check.

First, we need to recognise that we all have ego (yes even you!).

Can you reflect on a time when your ego was at play?  Our ego surfaces most often in situations where we feel:

• Threatened: If our authority or competence is questioned, we may react defensively to protect our self-image,
• Under Pressure: Tight deadlines or high-stakes decisions can make us double down, unwilling to admit mistakes or poor decision making,
• Successful: Ironically, success can also trigger ego—leading us to believe our way is always the best way or that we no longer need input from others (confirmation bias).
• In Competition: When we feel the need to outshine or compete with others, whether it’s peers, team members, or external competitors, we ca get caught prioritising personal achievement over collective success.

Left unchecked our ego can become toxic—not just to for us, but our entire organisation. Here are some ways it can impact our leadership outcomes:

Erodes Trust: When we act from ego, we can become dismissive of others’ contributions or reluctant to admit mistakes. This breeds mistrust and alienates team members, who may begin to feel undervalued or ignored.

Stifles Innovation: When we make decisions based on ego we discourage new ideas, believing we have all the answers. This creates a fear-based environment where employees hesitate to speak up or challenge our view, stalling creativity and problem-solving.

Damages Relationships: When we have an inflated ego we focus more on our own status than on nurturing meaningful relationships. This can lead to disconnection from the team and breakdowns in communication.

Leads to Poor Decisions: When ego is driving decisions, we may ignore critical feedback or fail to seek diverse perspectives, increasing the risk of poor judgment and costly mistakes.

How can we Recognise When Our Ego is at Play?

Self-awareness is the first step to managing ego. Here are some signs that ego might be influencing your leadership:

• You feel defensive when receiving feedback, even when it’s constructive,
• You catch yourself interrupting or dismissing others during discussions,
• You struggle to delegate tasks because you believe only you can do them right,
• You avoid admitting mistakes or apologise reluctantly, fearing it will undermine your authority,
• You make decisions alone without consulting others, believing your judgment is superior,
• You become fixated on credit, thinking more about recognition than results.

When you notice these behaviours, pause and reflect: What am I protecting or fearing? Is this about the team’s success, or am I protecting my own ego?

How can we Keep Our Ego in Check and Lead Effectively

Ego, when harnessed positively, can be a powerful force in leadership. It fuels our self-belief, confidence, ambition, and the drive to achieve, which are essential qualities for inspiring and motivating a team. A healthy ego helps us take bold steps, stand by our decisions, and navigate challenges with resilience. The key is to balance ego with humility, allowing it to push you forward while staying grounded in purpose, collaboration, and the greater good.

Humility in leadership isn’t about being the smartest person in the room, it’s about creating space for others to contribute. Acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers and that learning from others is a strength, not a weakness.  Empower others to drive decisions and solve problems.

The more we can seek feedback, not just from your peers and supervisors, but from your team members as well, we can identify blind spots where ego may be creeping in.

If you know you are overly attached to outcomes, how others perceive you or whether things go exactly as we planned, use this as a trigger to step back and focus on the bigger picture: the team’s shared success.

If you know ego is starting to creep in, tune into your emotions, especially in moments of stress or conflict. When you feel the urge to react defensively, pause and buy yourself some time to choose how you react. This allows you to respond thoughtfully, rather than from a place of ego.

Regularly get your pom poms out and be a cheer leader for others.  Championing other efforts is the opposite of ego, which craves personal recognition.  Shine the light on your team. Make a habit of celebrating shared success.

Managing ego isn’t about eliminating it, it’s about learning to recognise when it shows up and choosing to lead from a place of humility and purpose. Sought after leaders don’t see their role as proving their own worth; instead, they see it as an opportunity to empower others.

By staying curious, listening actively, and focusing on outcomes over personal recognition, you can cultivate a leadership style that builds trust, values collaboration, and inspires growth.

The most effective leaders aren’t those without ego, they’re the ones who know when to set it aside. In leadership, success is about more than being right. It’s about creating an environment where everyone feels valued, heard, and empowered to contribute their best.

So, the next time you feel that urge to defend, prove, or control—pause, reflect, and ask: What does my team need from me right now?