How to Bounce Back When Your Confidence Takes a Hit

In both our personal and professional lives, our confidence pendulum can swing from feeling uncertain to downright empowered and on top of our game. 

But when we face a role change, a tough conversation, or we miss out on an opportunity, it can be hard to regain our sense of confidence. Confidence setbacks, can feel deeply personal, shaking our self-belief and making it challenging to move forward.

So, what can we do to get out of our confidence rut?  Here are some actionable steps to regain your confidence, navigate transitions, and come out the other side of these experiences focusing on our growth so we can put ourselves back in charge.

First things first, start with Self-Compassion

Our first reaction to a setback can be self-criticism, at a time when adding to the pile on is really the last thing we need.  We do need to hold our selves accountable however being too hard on yourself can only exacerbate self-doubt. Take a moment to acknowledge the impact of the situation and how you are feeling and offer yourself some kindness. Treat yourself as you would a friend in the same position—reassure yourself that a knock to your confidence is a moment in time, and it doesn’t define you.

You have succeeded before and are more than capable of doing so again.

Reflect on the Bigger Picture

When setbacks happen, it’s easy to get caught up in the here and now and lose sight of the broader context. Step back and look at the bigger picture. Sometimes, a challenging experience serves as a catalyst for new opportunities, ways of thinking or perspectives.

Ask yourself:

• What have I learnt about myself?
• How can I leverage this for my next step?
• Where do I go from here that puts me back in charge?

This reflective process can shift your focus from the setback itself to how it might contribute to what comes next.

Take Charge of the Conversation: Own the Narrative

When our confidence takes a knock, it’s easy to feel like things are spinning out of control, or as through others are calling all of the shots. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, take charge and steer the conversation—both with yourself and others—in the direction of where you want to go and what you want now. Start by identifying what’s important to you moving forward, and actively communicate your needs. For example, if you missed out on a promotion, talk about the skills or projects you’re want to pursue. By taking charge of the narrative, you shift focus from past events to the actionable steps you’re taking toward future success. This shifts your thinking from what you don’t want, to what you do.

Seek Out Your Tribe

Being around supportive people who believe in you can make a significant difference in your confidence. Reach out to mentors, friends, or colleagues who can provide encouragement and perspective. Sometimes, a fresh take on things is all you need to regain clarity and see the situation in a new light.

If a career coach or mentor is accessible, consider reaching out to discuss your challenges and potential growth areas. 

Be Open to Learn from the Experience and Move Forward

Even though it can be incredibly hard in the moment, every setback is a chance to learn. Even if the experience was challenging, reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what you would change next time. Embrace a growth mindset, recognising that setbacks are not permanent—they are part of the journey and we all have them.

Incorporating these lessons into your actions will equip you to handle similar situations with resilience and a stronger sense of confidence.

Recovering from a hit to your confidence can be difficult, but it’s also where growth happens.  Practice self-compassion and focus on what you can control, to rebuild your confidence, so you have even more tools in your toolkit than before. Every experience contributes to your story.