Leadership and Language: Uncovering the Assumptions in How We Communicate

As leaders, communication is one of our most powerful tools. Yet, have you ever said something, only to realise the person on the other end interpreted it completely differently? Or maybe you've been on the receiving end of a message that left you wondering, What do they really mean by that?

This happens because our language is layered with assumptions—assumptions about shared meanings, context, and intent. The words we use carry our personal imprint that we create through our experiences, influences, and even emotional weight that may not be immediately obvious to others. If we, as leaders, want to be truly effective in how we communicate, we need to uncover these hidden assumptions and refine how we engage with others.

The Upside (and Downside) of Words

Take a simple phrase  like let's make it happen. If you use this language what does that actually mean?  What time frame would you put on that?   Let’s make it happen today, this week, by a particular deadline?  Now, think about what phrase means to them.  If your definitions are not in alignment, things like frustration, missed opportunities, or not meeting expectations can follow.

Another example is professionalism. One leader may define it as formal attire and structured meetings, while another sees it as being adaptable and prioritising results over process. Neither interpretation is wrong, but if it’s not clarified, it can lead to misunderstandings and conflict.

There are words we use every day, that don’t provide others with clarity as to what we really mean.  What are some of your sayings?

Tuning Into Your Own Language and Assumptions

Before we can improve how we communicate with others, we need to become more aware of how our own language and assumptions shape our thinking. Our brain likes to predict what is coming next, meaning it constantly makes assumptions based on past experiences to interpret new information. This helps us process the world quickly but can also lead to cognitive biases—where we assume others understand words, tone, or intent the same way we do. When we use a term like urgent, trust, or accountability, our brain automatically connects it to our personal and professional experiences. But if we don’t pause to examine those connections or the experiences that shape our assumptions, we might not realise that someone else’s brain is making an entirely different set of predictions.

To bridge this gap, we need to actively check for shared interpretation—both in one-on-one conversations and in group settings.

In one-on-one conversations, a simple way to do this is by asking clarifying questions:

• When you say [this word], what does it mean to you?
• Just to make sure we’re aligned, how would you describe what success looks like here?
  These small adjustments ensure that what you mean is what they hear.

In group settings, it helps to create shared definitions upfront. When is the last time you asked:

• Before we move forward, let’s make sure we have the same understanding of [key term]. How would each of you define it?
• Let’s agree on what “done” or “urgent” means for this project so we’re all on the same page.
  Bringing light to interpretations of key words or terms helps surface differences early to ensure we aren’t just using the same language, we mean the same thing.

By tuning into our own language habits and taking the extra step to check for shared meaning, we create space for more intentional, aligned, and effective communication—both as individuals and as teams.

How Our Assumptions Shape Our Communication

Our assumptions in communication come from lots of different sources:

Personal Experience – If a past leader always used "urgent" to mean "drop everything immediately," you might assume that’s always the case, even when someone else uses it more flexibly.  Another example is hierarchy – we may have a deep ingrained belief that those above us on the ladder take priority, when that is not always the case.

Industry Jargon – The same term can have vastly different meanings in different work sites or teams. 

Emotional Associations – Words evoke feelings. If someone had a negative experience with a previous boss who always used the word feedback in a critical way, they might tense up when you say, I have some feedback for you, even if you intend it positively.

Cultural Background

Different cultures have distinct communication norms, and assuming that your approach is the default can easily lead to misunderstandings.

The key? Recognise different communication styles and clarify expectations within your team. Instead of assuming what’s “normal,” ask team members for some of their default language and to clarify what it means to them.  Even in established teams there will be assumptions that are uncovered.  This simple conversation can significantly improve trust and collaboration.

How Do We Bridge the Communication Gap?

Instead of assuming shared understanding, create a habit of asking:

• When you say [X], what do you mean by that?
• How do you define success in this situation?
• What’s the best way for us to communicate feedback or concerns?

By uncovering the hidden assumptions behind language, we can create a workplace where clarity, trust, and collaboration thrive.

Language is powerful, but only if it’s understood the way it’s intended. As leaders, we need to slow down, examine the words we use, and break down our assumptions to ensure we’re truly communicating—not just speaking. Because when we get language right, we don’t just avoid misunderstandings—we build stronger, more aligned, and more effective teams.