No news is good news – what is the ratio of positive to constructive feedback you give?
May 04, 2023
This week I had the privilege of running a 2-day workshop for a global group of geoscientists. They are part of a newly formed team, so our focus was gaining clarity on how they want to work together to create shared success.
One of the exercises we did was around understanding metaprograms (if you didn’t catch the previous Evolved Leader on understanding the lenses through which you see the world).
The purpose of this exercise was a clearer understanding for self and others. When we came to the metaprogram which asks do you have an internal or external point of reference (do you look for external validation such as positive feedback to know you are doing a good job, or do you look internally), most of the group was internal.
However, there was one key point that went along with this. As much as they don’t need positive feedback, they all agreed it does help.
Help how? To maintain energy and motivation, persist through challenges and keep striving for better by knowing their effort is recognised.
A phrase I hear a lot from leaders is that no news is good news. This points directly to an imbalance of the ratio to which feedback is delivered. It’s only received when things go wrong.
There is a brilliant book by John Tierney and Roy F. Baumeister titled the Power of Bad, in it they share the “Rule of Four; that it takes four good things to overcome one bad thing” (p. 27). This is based on “research that shows bad things are at least twice as powerful as good things and generally as least three times as powerful when dealing with relationships.” This means for the good to rise above the bad, the rule of thumb is 4 times as much good.
Which begs the question, what is the ratio by which you give feedback? Four times as much good can feel like a lot, particularly when we are wired to be looking out for threats, which means its much easier to spot the bad.
It takes conscious effort to look for the good. This is something we can all start doing right now.
Don’t just base it on what you think you do, gather the evidence by asking your team and the people around you.
You can start with “what was the last piece of positive feedback you received from me” then ask “what is the most recent piece of constructive feedback you received from me”. Whilst people may find it easier to remember the negative as opposed to the positive, if you get the ratio right, you can start building on what is working well rather than focusing on what is not working.
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