What Rules Are You Playing By?

Are you a rule follower or a rule breaker?

Have you ever stopped to consider what are the rules that you are playing by, and are they the same as the other people around you?

The balance between following the rules and knowing when to break them is often a fine line. Successful leaders understand when to respect the existing frameworks and when to push boundaries, challenge the status quo, and think outside the box. But how do you know when to follow the rules, and when is it the right time to break them?

In leadership, understanding your relationship with rules can define how you navigate challenges, drive innovation, and create impact. Some of us are naturally wired to follow rules—we find comfort in structure, stability, and order. This can set us up to excel in maintaining consistency and reliability. On the other hand, some of us thrive on pushing boundaries and challenging norms, seeing rules as obstacles to creativity and progress.

But what about the unconscious rules we follow without even realising it? These self-imposed rules—habits, assumptions, or societal expectations—can restrict our growth and limit our leadership potential. The key to unlocking your full leadership capacity is identifying these rules, questioning their relevance, and breaking free from the ones that are holding you back.

Who made the rules anyway?

Rules can serve a crucial purpose, they create order, ensure fairness, and maintain consistency within teams and organisations. For leaders who thrive on structure, following the rules brings a sense of security and alignment whilst also creating an even playing field based on fairness and trust. Whether it’s adhering to regulatory guidelines, following company policies, or setting clear standards for your team, being a rule follower has its advantages.

The downside?  Rules can limit innovation and create limiting beliefs if followed too rigidly. If we rely too heavily on rules we can miss opportunities for creativity, growth, or change.

When to be a Rule Breaker

Leadership often requires us to know when to break the rules in the name of progress. Rule breakers question the status quo, challenge outdated systems and beliefs, and push the boundaries of what’s possible. There are certain times when breaking the rules creates progress.  Think about things such as innovation, creativity or outdated structures that are having unintended consequences.  Breaking a rule, when done thoughtfully, can lead to improved results and new opportunities.

Recognising Our Own Unconscious Rules

While some rules are written and enforced, others are self-imposed and operate unconsciously. We all have unspoken rules based on our own beliefs or assumptions on how things should be done, or how to navigate the environment and culture we work within.  These can include habits, how we interpret the behaviours or others and societal or cultural norms that shape our leadership without us even realising it. To break free from these limitations, you first need to recognise them. 

Reflect on patterns or common themes in your decision-making. Are there areas where you’re hesitant to act because “that’s not how things are done”? or perhaps you are worried how it would be perceived by others?  This is where you need to challenge your assumptions.  What are your beliefs about how things should be done?  Are you sticking to a method just because it’s familiar? Or playing by rules set by somebody else who may be more dominant or have a higher position than you?

Getting an outside perspective can be key.  Ask your peers or team members if they’ve noticed areas where you’re following unspoken rules or have bias. They may see things from a different perspective and can help you identify habits or considerations that are no longer serving you.

Identifying the Rules that are Holding You Back

Once you’ve recognised the unconscious rules you might be following, it’s time to determine which ones are holding you back from growth and maximum impact. 

When you encounter a rule—whether external or self-imposed—ask yourself why it exists. Is it still relevant? Does it serve your current goals, or is it simply something you think you should be following?

How does following that rule affect your ability to lead effectively? If a rule is preventing you from taking a bold step or pursuing innovation, it may be time to let it go.  Don’t throw all caution to the wind and break all the rules at once!  Start by removing rules that are creating barriers for you and your team.  See how deviating from them feels and what the outcomes are. 

Leadership lies in the balance between knowing when to follow the rules and when to break them. Both approaches have their value, and effective leaders are those who can navigate between these two positions with understanding and intent.

Start by reflecting on habits, thoughts and assumptions that may be holding you back, and question whether they still serve your leadership goals.  Don’t be afraid to challenge the status quo, especially when it aligns with your strongly held beliefs.  

Leadership isn’t about strictly following or breaking rules—it’s about understanding your own ingrained behaviours and adapting your approach to be more effective. By becoming aware of the rules you consciously and unconsciously follow, and knowing when to break free from them, you can unlock your full leadership potential and lead with greater creativity, authenticity, and impact.