Start with the point; know when to stop

We hear so much now about speaking up and using our voice in the key moments.

The opposite is also true.  Do you know when to cut to the point and when saying less is more?

Basically, do you know when to stop talking?

In all of our conversations, it’s easy to get caught in a rabbit hole of backstory, justification or context. But when it comes to communication that hits the mark, less is often more. If we don’t know when to stop talking, we risk losing clarity, connection and we create confusion.

The thing is, were often not present enough to know when we are doing it.  We lost the rooms minutes ago, and we don’t even know it.

When Over-Talking Equals Undercutting Our Message

In leadership communication is critical.  When we say good communication, what does that really mean, or sound like?  Good normally reflects communication that is clear, decisive and engaging. But instead, where we often end up is delivering communication that is:

• Long-winded and somewhere along the way we lose the point,
• Explanations that keep looping back to “just one more thing”,
• Rambling responses in meetings that no one can really follow,
• This leads to team members checking out mid-way, 

This isn’t about being a “better speaker”. It’s about knowing how to focus your message and when to wrap it up so that what you say actually lands on your audience.

Start With the Point, Then Tell the Story

Frances Frei shares a deceptively simple rule for strong communication, especially for those of us who find ourselves rambling or going off topic. 
Start with the point. Then tell your story.

It flips the typical structure most people use (set-up, background, explanation, then the point), and puts the message first. Why?

Because people are busy. Attention is short. And clarity gives people what they need so they can get on with it.

For example:

Instead of:
“So we’ve been looking into a few different options with the new safety protocols, and after chatting with HSE and reviewing the compliance logs...”
Try:
“We’re rolling out Protocol B. Here’s why it’s the right call.”

Starting with the point sets direction. It gains attention. It builds a platform for any context that follows. And crucially, it helps you know when enough has been said.

Why Some of us Don’t Know When to Stop

Our attention is a limited resource. According to neuroscience research, we start tuning out after about 10–18 seconds unless something captures our interest, or tells us what we are about to hear is relevant.  

The brain craves clarity and filters ambiguity. When we speak too long without getting to the point, our brain goes into cognitive overload. People literally stop paying attention to what you’re saying.

On the flip side, when we lead with clarity and get straight to the point, our listener’s prefrontal cortex (responsible for decision-making and attention) can better switch on, engage and act.

Long story short?
Clarity is kind. Cutting to the point is brain-friendly.

Read the Room: what is your audience telling you

Even when you’re the one doing the talking, your listeners are communicating, through their faces, body language, eye contact and energy.

Once you start to lose your audience heres some of what you might see:

• People stop taking notes or nodding,
• Eye contact fades; they glance at watches or devices, distraction has arrived,
• They lean back, cross arms or shift physically away,
• The room goes quiet, but not in a good way,
• Your own voice feels like it’s filling a gap that doesn’t need filling.

The key here is self-awareness. Are you talking to land the message, or talking to feel more in control or justify your position or decision?  Sometimes, we fill silence because we’re unsure, not because it’s needed.

Most of us only take away up to 3 key points from the information we receive, heres how to make them count:

Start with the headline
What’s the single most important takeaway? Say that first.

Ask, don’t assume
After delivering your point, check in: “Would you like more background?” or “What would be most useful to go into next?” This keeps communication relevant and tailored to what the audience wants to know, not what you think they want to know.

Breathe, then pause
Build pauses into your speaking rhythm. A pause signals confidence and gives others space to engage or respond. (It’s also your chance to tune into the room.)

Prep with intention
Instead of preparing everything you could say, prep what your audience needs to hear. Less is more.

Knowing when to stop talking doesn’t mean saying less.
It means saying what matters with clarity and trusting that it’s enough.

Your presence is not just built by what you say, but by your ability to communicate with focus, intent and awareness of your impact. When you speak with clarity and stop when the point has landed, you earn attention and influence.  Not just in that moment, but every moment that follows.

So the next time you catch yourself rambling… pause. Breathe.  Tune into the room.
Ask have I made my key point, and if so, is that enough?