Is treating everyone the same really fair?

For years, many leaders have led by the belief that “one rule for everyone” is the fairest approach. It sounds solid, no favourites, no bending the rules, no special treatment. But as our teams become more diverse, and expectations around inclusion and equity grow, this mindset is being tested. What if treating everyone the same is no longer the fairest, or most effective, way to lead?

That’s where equity comes in.
Unlike equality, which gives everyone the same resources or treatment, equity recognises that people start from different places and may need different levels of support to succeed. It’s about creating fair outcomes through flexibility, not just following uniform processes.

Let’s take a closer look at equity, and why fairness isn’t always about sameness, especially when we understand how the brain interprets fairness and trust.

 What your brain is telling you: why equity feels better than equality

The human brain is wired to care deeply about fairness. Studies using fMRI scans show that when people perceive a situation as fair, the brain’s reward centre (the striatum) lights up, the same area activated by food, praise or financial reward. When things feel unfair, another part of the brain, our anterior insula, linked to disgust and pain,  takes the lead and lights up instead.

But here’s the key: fairness isn’t just about sameness. Our brain is highly attuned to context. When we see that someone is getting extra support for a good reason, our brains are far more likely to perceive it as fair,  especially if leaders are transparent and intentional about it.

In contrast, when leaders insist on equal treatment without recognising different barriers or starting points, we can start to feel unseen, unsupported or even resentful. And when fairness is questioned, trust and motivation drop.

Why equity can feel hard as leaders

This shift challenges many deeply held beliefs:

“Treating everyone the same means I’m being fair.”
But fairness, as we've seen, is experienced subjectively. And our brains don’t always reward strict uniformity; they reward justified fairness.

“If I make exceptions, I’ll lose respect.”
Neuroscience tells us that transparency and consistency of intention matters more than consistency of treatment when it comes to building trust.

“I worked hard with no special treatment, others should too.”
This belief is rooted in effort and resilience, but it overlooks the invisible cognitive or structural barriers others may be navigating. Equity asks us to widen our lens.

In organisations where safety, compliance and structure are non-negotiable, mental flexibility can feel like introducing a grey area. But equity is not about being inconsistent or soft, it’s about creating an even playing field for everyone.

Equity in action (without playing favourites)

One of the biggest barriers to practising equity can be fear that it will be seen as bias.
Many leaders worry that adjusting your approach based on individual needs will be misread as playing favourites, especially in environments where consistency is equated with fairness.
When equity is applied without transparency or a clear rationale, it can look like bias. That’s why the key isn’t to avoid equity, it’s to apply it with intention, visibility and a consistent framework that builds trust, not doubt. 

The key lies in principled flexibility. Here’s how:

Explain the why.
When you provide extra support or flexibility, make it clear it’s about removing barriers to enable performance, not rewarding preference. Our brain processes perceived fairness when reasons are made explicit.

Use a consistent decision-making framework.
Apply the same questions to every situation: What’s the barrier? What’s the person’s context? What outcome are we trying to reach? This creates a predictable and safe environment, which our brains crave.

Don’t hide it.  Be transparent with the team.
Normalise the idea that equity means adjusting support, not lowering standards. This builds psychological safety, which drives team performance and engagement.

Hold the line on expectations.
The brain needs both challenge and safety. When you combine high expectations with tailored support, you hit the sweet spot for motivation and growth (hello, prefrontal cortex activation).

When we lead with equity, we create environments where fairness is felt, not just claimed. Where people feel seen and supported for who they are and motivated to reach shared outcomes. When trust and fairness are high, our brain is more open, engaged and resilient, critical ingredients for high performance.

So next time you hear “I treat everyone the same,” ask:

Is that helping everyone thrive, or just creating consistency for perceived fairness?

Real fairness isn’t rigid. It’s responsive.
And leaders who understand this aren’t just being nice, they’re creating real equity.